J. Josh Smith, MacArthur Boulevard Baptist Church, preached on April 22, 2007, listened to on November 14, 2007
God has a passion for His reputation. He has created us primarily to make a name for Himself. Everything in life is centered on Him – not us. Ezekiel 36:21. 1 Corinthians 10:31. Romans 11:36.
We must be thoughtful and contemplative Christians. We can’t be so hurried that we don’t take the time to think how God can be glorified in whatever we are doing.
There are some things that God has given us as primary venues to say something specific about Him. Marriage is one of those.
Do not tune out if you aren’t married, i.e. single, school age, widowed, or divorced. God wants everyone to learn something about Him through marriage. He uses marriage to conform two people to His image and to relate in such a way that even those that aren’t married would come to know something about Jesus Christ and His love for the church. So even as an “outsider” to marriage, as you watch a godly marriage, you will learn something about God.
All of us can learn because marriage is a picture, a dramatic presentation of the relationship of Jesus to His church. It is a drama and there is a role for the husband to play and a role for the wife to play. As they work together on this presentation God is glorified. If neither understands their role it doesn’t work.
Foundation for understanding marriage – Matthew 19:3-7
Matthew 19:3 – Jesus points back to creation as He talks about marriage. Marriage is God’s idea; it is not a human institution. He is the author of marriage. It is for Him.
Matthew 19:6 – Marriage is intensely spiritual. It isn’t just physical or legal. God brought them together so do not separate them. If we had brought them together then perhaps we could have separated but God brought those two together.
Matthew 19:7 – why talk about the command of Moses? Jesus says that Moses had to make a command concerning this because of the sinfulness of people, not because it was God’s plan. Pharisees were testing Jesus now so you would expect the disciples to step in and help but they ask Jesus why get married if this is true. They had a small, man-centered, carnal view of marriage and couldn’t comprehend the spiritual nature of marriage.
Specific instructions for marriage - Ephesians 5:22-33
This is a God-centered, Christ exalting view of marriage. It is initially hard to follow the theme here, is it about marriage or the church? They are so intertwined that the main point seems to shift. The primary point is marriage. Ephesians 5:25 mentions “as to” and “just as” which shows us this. To understand marriage we have to point to Christ and the church; however, there is a direct relationship. Therefore the first thing on our mind in a marriage relationship is what is it saying about Christ or the church.
Instructions to wives – Ephesians 5:22-24
Ephesians 5:22 – God is calling wives to submit and honor for the reputation of God. Pastors are scared of the “submission” word but scripture is clear that submission is part of marriage.
If we look back to Ephesians 5:15-21 we see Paul is talking about the Christian life. In Ephesians 5:21 he says that if we know the Lord there is a mutual submission to each other. We look at ourselves as secondary and others as primary and a priority above us.
Submit means to be subject to willfully and joyfully. As we willfully and joyfully submit to Christ’s leadership. “…as to the Lord…” This isn’t just a service to the husband but to the Lord. It is done not because the husband deserves it but because Christ asked you to. 1 Peter 3 confirms this as it talks to wives whose husbands may not be believers.
This submission for women is to husband only, not to all men. This tells us it is not an issue of equality then. It is about a role.
There is a relationship between your submission to your husband and your ability to submit to God. If you are constantly fighting against his leadership and wanting to take control in that relationship then you will want to do that in your relationship with God.
This doesn’t mean he is lord over you it is just that God has given us different roles, even if the woman may be a better leader.
Submission is not the same as the relationship between a parent and child or between a slave and master.
Submission is not an oppressive, authoritative relationship.
Submission is not agreeing with everything your husband has to say. 1 Peter 3 shows us there isn’t even an agreement on the foundational issues but submission is still required.
Submission is not not based on fear.
Submission is primarily about attitude and disposition. The wife is looking to the husband expecting and allowing him to lead because God has placed him in that role. We don’t submit to Christ because of fear or manipulation but because of His position. Because of His position we joyfully submit. It isn’t a matter of value or equality but a matter of role and function. Not oppressive but liberating.
Look and lean – We look to Christ when we make decisions and we lean on Him through those decisions. The world needs to see the same thing with wives and their husbands. Physically look to him and then lean on him and don’t be so independent.
The fear used to be that men would be oppressive when this was taught. The fear now is exactly the opposite. The fear now is men who refuse to lead and women who refuse to let them. This confusion in roles is direct from Satan.
We often think that wives submit because of the fall but this is not true. God created the husband as the head in Genesis 2. The fall did not occur until Genesis 3. This role described in Ephesians is not because of the curse. The role was that way from the beginning to demonstrate God to the world. The difficulty in actually doing it is a result of the fall. Men fall into the sin of not leading or being oppressive. Women fall into the sin of refusing to submit and wanting to control. This is why we must walk in the Spirit as shown in the previous verses of Ephesians.
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