Stop Pretending: What Happened When My Big Sister Went CrazySonya Sones
HarperTeen (January 23, 2001)
SPOILER ALERT: The following review contains plot points that you may not want to know about before reading the book.
In short: An emotionally powerful story of mental illness and first love in story-by-poem format with only isolated objectionable content.
A thirteen year old girl tells a story, through poems, of when her big sister began withdrawing from life and was eventually institutionalized. Complex emotions are presented simply, and insightfully, in verse, including the feelings expressed in the descriptive title.
“Stop pretending
Right this minute.
Don’t you tell me
you don’t know me.
Stop this crazy act
and show me
that you haven’t changed.
Stop pretending
you’re deranged.”
Her struggles with the illness are explored as well as the emotions she has with friends who use mental illness as humor, ignorant to her sister’s condition.
“I’m tired of being thirteen
and of not being twelve anymore
and of wanting to help my sister
and of not being able to help.”
“I say, “Why don’t you just wear
that great little red dress, Kate?
The one you wore to the last dance.”
“That old thing?” she gasps.
“Are you out of your mind?”
I blink at her stupidly,
wishing I could say,
“No, I’m not. But my sister is,”
and wondering
what would happen
if I did.”
Based on the author’s experiences with her own sister, the thoughts, fears, and hopes expressed here are honest and realistic to that age. Particularly discerning, especially for parents, are the descriptions of first love.
“I wasn’t pretty
until John said I was.
He thinks I’m pretty
even when I’ve been crying.
I told him about my sister.
He didn’t care.
I mean he was sorry she was sick
but he still likes me.
I wasn’t pretty
until John said I was,
but now
I am.”
Fathers, and mothers, but particularly dads, would do well to remember this in interactions with our daughters. This does lead to a minor objection in that the narrator is extremely honest about her feelings, specifically in describing a situation involving her boyfriend’s physical display of affection. This particular situation feels unneeded; however, this story-by-poem structure focuses emotions in a powerful way so it isn’t surprising in that context.
In short: An emotionally powerful story of mental illness and first love in story-by-poem format with only isolated objectionable content.
A thirteen year old girl tells a story, through poems, of when her big sister began withdrawing from life and was eventually institutionalized. Complex emotions are presented simply, and insightfully, in verse, including the feelings expressed in the descriptive title.
“Stop pretending
Right this minute.
Don’t you tell me
you don’t know me.
Stop this crazy act
and show me
that you haven’t changed.
Stop pretending
you’re deranged.”
Her struggles with the illness are explored as well as the emotions she has with friends who use mental illness as humor, ignorant to her sister’s condition.
“I’m tired of being thirteen
and of not being twelve anymore
and of wanting to help my sister
and of not being able to help.”
“I say, “Why don’t you just wear
that great little red dress, Kate?
The one you wore to the last dance.”
“That old thing?” she gasps.
“Are you out of your mind?”
I blink at her stupidly,
wishing I could say,
“No, I’m not. But my sister is,”
and wondering
what would happen
if I did.”
Based on the author’s experiences with her own sister, the thoughts, fears, and hopes expressed here are honest and realistic to that age. Particularly discerning, especially for parents, are the descriptions of first love.
“I wasn’t pretty
until John said I was.
He thinks I’m pretty
even when I’ve been crying.
I told him about my sister.
He didn’t care.
I mean he was sorry she was sick
but he still likes me.
I wasn’t pretty
until John said I was,
but now
I am.”
Fathers, and mothers, but particularly dads, would do well to remember this in interactions with our daughters. This does lead to a minor objection in that the narrator is extremely honest about her feelings, specifically in describing a situation involving her boyfriend’s physical display of affection. This particular situation feels unneeded; however, this story-by-poem structure focuses emotions in a powerful way so it isn’t surprising in that context.
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